my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
