Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
