He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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