If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize