why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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