Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
