I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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