Whod you bang
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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