Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Mom said you looked used
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
