I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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