dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
