why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
