My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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