I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
