I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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