hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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