Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
