I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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