Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
do nipples grow back?
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