I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
