I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
