dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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