I look better un-naked...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
