Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
