dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize