walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
