Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
