You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
