Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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