this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
