you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I AM VODKA MAN
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
