she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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