I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize