I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
