Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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