I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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