I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
