This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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