Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
