i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
