I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
