i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
