i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize