I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
