so that wasnt chicken after all
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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