i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
