dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize