Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
