): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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