do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
