It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
