He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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