Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
