Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
