I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Boobs are out for the taking
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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