it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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