Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
