this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
