The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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