i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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