you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
