I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
