It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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