you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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