it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
