ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
