glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
