i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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