he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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