just tell him i said nine months
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
