I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
