I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
