Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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