I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just want nice things and good sex
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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